Let Them: Why Protecting Your Energy Isn’t Selfish—It’s Strategy

If you’ve ever caught yourself saying “yes” when you meant “no,” staying late when you were running on fumes, or avoiding decisions to sidestep disappointment—this one’s for you.

We’re wired to want approval. To keep the peace. To make sure no one feels let down.

But here’s the catch: in doing so, we often let ourselves down instead.

And eventually? That builds.

Instead of asking for space, we become resentful.
Instead of setting boundaries, we silently burn out.
Instead of saying no, we stretch ourselves thin.

That’s where Mel Robbins' “Let Them” Theory comes in—and it’s a mindset shift I’ve seen transform my own life and the lives of my clients.

Let them judge.
Let them be disappointed.
Let them not understand.

Because when you stop resisting how others feel and start honoring your own needs, something powerful happens: you show up better for everyone.

You’re calmer. Clearer. More present.
You’re the parent, partner, or friend you actually want to be—not the burnt-out version just trying to keep up.

One of my clients used to feel guilty for leaving gatherings early or not saying yes to every favor. But after learning to honor her own rhythms, she became more energized—and ironically, more appreciated by the people in her life. Why? Because she had something left to give.

The takeaway?
You don’t set boundaries to push people away.
You set them so you can stay connected—without abandoning yourself in the process.

So the next time you feel pressure to be everything for everyone...

Let them.

And come back as the best version of you.